Today ruled!... but started off on a stinker note.

The day started off not great. I was still tired. I just can't get enough sleep at night considering I have to get up so early. Anyhow, school sucked because I just kept stepping on my teacher's toes. I just can't do things that way she does them apparently. And by that I mean she doesn't do anything. And I actually want to do something and interact with students.

A first grade class was in. Their teacher has been teaching them about non-fiction. She had my teacher read a non-fiction book about a famous African American. The class was already antsy and distracted after having a fire-drill in the middle of their library time. *By the way, this class actually gets to visit the library once a week during the middle of the morning...for at least 30-40 minutes, while the other classes only visit for 15 minutes at the beginning or end of the school day. That is IF they even visit. So weird and sad.* Anyhow, while students were selecting books, I offered help to some of the kids but they didn't take me up on it. Their teacher said, "Let her help you if you need help. That's why she's here." After that, some students asked me for help.

One little boy wanted a book about sharks. I said, "Okay! Do you know where those would be? " He didn't know. So I said, "You can find it in the section we were talking about today. Do you remember what that was?" He didn't remember. So I told him it's in the non-fiction section. So we started to walk over to the non-fiction section, and my teacher stopped me. She informed me that they aren't allowed to check out from the non-fiction. They can only check out from the picture books.

A seven-year-old boy can't check out a book about sharks?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I was pissed.

So then I had to tell this little boy he couldn't check a book about sharks out, but that he could come back on his own later today or tomorrow and check one out. Apparently she thinks it will be too disorderly if they can check out non-fiction while the class is there, so they have to do it on their own time.

Does this also sound a little lazy to you?

So I felt bad about this. Another boy walks up to me and wanted a Star Wars book. Silly me for thinking I can work with him using the catalog computer. So we go over to a catalog computer and look up "Star Wars." We found two picture books (the only kind they can check out, remember) and they were checked in. I work with him to get to the place on the shelf where they are.... They weren't there. Shit. After looking for a minute he told me two kids in his class had checked some out last week. AHA! They were just checked in and still on the cart behind the circulation desk!

I worked my way back behind the desk to get the books off the cart. The library aide informs me there's a Star Wars book on the cart. Well, no dip, lady. I know how libraries work. I've been going to school for it for four years now. Plus I've worked in one for 2 1/2 years. And this is your first time EVER working in a library and you shelve things wrong. Then I find the other book as she's starting to point it out to me. I already knew it was on that cart. I just said, "I know" and NOT with a smile on face as I usually wear.

I go to the little boy and present him the two books to choose from. He quickly made his choice and got in line to check-out. My teacher starts explaining to me why her idiotic rules are in place. The first grade teacher was also surprised to learn they cannot check out non-fiction books. I could tell by the look on her face she was not thrilled and found it absolutely ridiculous too. I was also told they can't use the computer to look up a book. I was so livid after this... and I was so sad and mad for the children's sake! Those poor kids are getting such an awful elementary library experience. I wish they could check out things they wanted and that their librarian was fun and nice and had a personality. I hope they someday like libraries. This school library, though, is hurting that chance. I was so mad I had to walk away for a moment to gather my cool.

So after a while I was able to make my way over to the first grade teacher. I thanked her for encouraging her students to let me help them. I also apologized for the class being disorderly if it was my fault. I explained that I did not know they were not allowed to check out non-fiction or use the catalog computer. She was on my side. She said, "Yeah, neither did I!" The look on her face said it all. That made me feel better.

After they left, I basically got told I was the reason the class was disorderly and that I threw off their entire routine. Of course my teacher doesn't have the balls to actually tell me it was my fault. That pissed me off even more. If she would've just said it, rather than being so passive aggressive, I wouldn't have been so pissed. I am so glad I am not like her. Seeing her and how teachers respond toward her make me much more confident in my abilities to be a school librarian someday soon (hopefully).

Later that day I stepped on her toes AGAIN. I just couldn't do anything right today apparently. I'd told her Mrs. R. invited me to the yearbook club meeting after school to see what it's about and maybe get involved with it. I told her this and asked if it was okay if I went to Mrs. R.'s room at 2:30 for this meeting. Normally teachers leave at 2:40, you see. She said that was perfectly fine. So when it was almost 2:30 and I was gathering my things up, I said, "See you in the morning!" even with a smile on my face and cheer in my voice. She surprisingly exclaimed, "Okay!!?" I said, "I'm sorry, is that not okay?" And she said it was fine. I don't know why she was so taken aback by it... we'd already talked about it! Does she have a screw loose?

I couldn't wait to get out of there. I hurried away scolding myself at everything that happened today, dreading coming back tomorrow to a really awkward situation.

Yearbook was fine and Mrs. R. told me I didn't need to stay the whole time. So I made my up the hill and then down the road to the Middle School/High School. My supervising teacher, Dr. J., there (for my second half of the semester) wanted me to drop by sometime this week. When I arrived, she asked, "Can we talk off the record?" I said, "Suure!" as we made our way to a back corner.

There, we talked about how awful the elementary librarian is and how I am learning nothing. By sending that e-mail out to the teachers, I'm TRYING to create work for myself.. That's not how student teaching is supposed to be. Dr. J. told me when she found out I was coming, she e-mailed the elementary librarian saying, "YAYY!!! We have an intern!!" That librarian responded by saying she didn't even ask for one and, "Did you see all the extra work we have to do??" She didn't even want me.

J. was wanting us to talk with Terry to see if I could just go to the other elementary school, Smith, for the rest of these eight weeks (where there is a good librarian who would like to have me!) and then go to the high school. Or maybe I could just do the rest of my weeks at the high school with her. She called Terry on the spot, right there. They talked about how the Wetzel situation is just not good for me and that I am learning nothing. Even though I am earning a K-12th grade teaching degree, it would at least be better for me to have full time of good experience at the high school, rather than half good experience at the high school and a worthless experience at that elementary. Terry agreed straight away.

When J. hung up the phone, she exclaimed, "You report here tomorrow morning!" I was thrilled! I was so excited. I haven't stopped smiling since 3:15 this afternoon. I am so excited to go to the high school. J. is so awesome.

As we were walking out the library doors, I mentioned that maybe the Smith librarian would let me observe her a couple times or something. J. even mentioned that it might be arranged I could go Smith maybe one day a week or something similar. That would be awesome. Stay posted for more info as that may or may not develop!

She also told me not to worry about my first teacher's feelings. She said they weren't worth it.. especially because she didn't even want an intern in the first place. She also said not to worry about contacting her. She would do it all and explain there was a miscommunication or mistake or something and that I'll just be at the high school from now on.

I couldn't be happier. today started off awful but ended as the best day yet!